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Rights & Wrongs of Dongs: A Legal Guide to Today’s Penis News

It can be pretty hard to know where it’s legal for your penis to be these days. Well, Heavy.com is here to help!

First we have the video above in which a man is arrested for dressing like Borat in a Borat-style mankini. It’s awfully skimpy, but that doesn’t quite qualify as exposing himself. Then again maybe rather than a general rule, this is just an insult to the man himself. As in he was so ugly, it’s illegal. He could have literally been arrested for unattractiveness. Ouch. That might be the ultimate burn.

Or the cops could be pricks arresting a man even though we couldn’t see his. I say, if it’s safe to show it on Youtube, it’s safe for it to be out in public. The law apparently differs with me.

Someone else who might differ is the Oregon judge who ruled that a man stripping down in an airport to protest invasive searches was protected speech.

Unfortunately, he’s not on the same page as the police officers who arrested Fred Willard for masturbating in a theater. Personally, I think Fred Willard was making a statement about the state of modern cinema, but that’s just me.

So to recap, your penis is illegal in a bathing suit, but not in an airport, but it’s still illegal in a theater.

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