Let’s be honest. Who hasn’t stolen K-Y Jelly from Walmart and then pounded your girlfriend right in the aisle while other shoppers watched in horror? It’s pretty much a rite of passage for young lovers.
But unfortunately, society is oppressive, and one couple was unfortunate enough to get caught for it, reports the Smoking Gun.
Kinky Kansans Julian Call, 22, and Tina Gianakon, 35, allegedly snagged the silky lube from the big-box discounter in Hutchinson, Kansas, and went right to work in full view of their fellow bargain hunters.
The official complaint alleges they engaged “in sexual intercourse or sodomy with any person or animal with knowledge or reasonable anticipation that the participants are being viewed by another.” Funny how the Kansas law groups public sex with humans and/or animals into the same statute.
Anyway, way to go, horny Kansas weirdos. Most of us can only dream of such unbridled passion. And for all you Walmart haters … well, not sure if this changes your opinion or bolsters it. But we’re thinking a little Walmart doesn’t sound too bad right now.