Lenny Dykstra Promises to Knock ‘Angry Bagel Guy’ Out in Three Rounds

Lenny Dykstra

Getty Lenny Dykstra took the Phillies to the World Series in 1993.

Lenny Dykstra wasn’t pulling any punches with his venomous words — or his tobacco-stained fists. In a press conference for his upcoming Celebrity Boxing Match, Dykstra reverted to his gritty “Nails” alter-ego.

The former Phillies and Mets star outfielder promised to knock viral sensation Chris “Angry Bagel Guy” Morgan out in three rounds. Maybe quicker than that. Dykstra thinks he might actually kill the athletically-challenged 5-foot carb cruncher from Long Island. (Everything bagels are his favorite, by the way).

“If you die, it ain’t my fault,” said Dykstra. “I’m going to fucking punish you.”

“As Jason Kelce said, fuck off,” Morgan said.

Dykstra and Morgan will fight on September 28 at The Showboat Hotel at 7 p.m. in Atlantic City in what is sure to be a three-ring circus. Maybe four rings. Josh Colon and Antoine Dodson are on the undercard. Click here for tickets.

Damon Feldman, aka the “Jewish Rocky,” creator and founder of Celebrity Boxing, said the fight was going to be a phenomenal battle. He explained that the idea came about as the result of a Twitter argument. When Dykstra’s team approached him about a boxing match he “didn’t even think twice.”

“This is going to going to be ugly, man. Ugly like Apollo Creed type shit,” Dykstra said from a makeshift podium at the original Tony Luke’s Cheesesteaks in South Philadelphia. “This isn’t a game. This is a real fucking fight. You know you’re going to get hurt, right?”

The three-time MLB All-Star was staring right at Morgan when he asked it. Then, Dykstra leaned in and sucker-punched the 45-year-old while an adoring South Philly crowd watched in delight. They chanted “Lenny, Lenny, Lenny” as security guards escorted Dykstra out of the parking lot.

“Three, if I want it to go three,” Dykstra told Heavy.com “What I’m trying to say is this guy shouldn’t show up.”

During a 10-minute press conference outside the famous cheesesteak shop, nothing was out of bounds, including penis jokes, Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed references, accusations of alcoholism and midget tossing.

Dykstra started the hijinx with that unexpected full-throttle sucker punch following a brief staredown. After, he joked that Morgan had a “one-inch penis.” Dykstra was physically removed from the premises, then came back and leaped across the table to aggressively tackle Morgan, presumably giving the brave New Yorker a preview of things to come.

“There are people, man, every day they go to the hospital and find out they have a terminal disease,” Dykstra said. “And you’re healthy, and you’re there whining like a little bitch. Disrespecting women, disrespecting everybody and now you’re going to learn about laws.”

Dykstra Promised to Walk to Kansas

Dykstra added to the humiliation when he told Morgan he plans to leave his false teeth in for the fight. The ex-baseball player was infamously in the headlines earlier this summer for digging in a sandwich shop dumpster to find his $80,000 dentures. He promised to wear them in Atlantic City.

“I’m going to leave my teeth in, my brand new teeth,” Dykstra said. “I’m going to leave them in for you.”

He also vowed to walk from Philadelphia to Kansas if he lost the spectacular fight. Morgan didn’t have much to say in response. He sat there and grabbed at his plain white shirt while yelling “blah, blah, blah” and calling Dykstra a drunk. The World Series champion wasn’t having it.

“I’ll walk from here to Kansas on a road. I’ll walk and every step I take I’ll donate a dollar to whatever foundation you want,” Dykstra told Morgan. “Because you know what, dude? Do you understand something? (laughing and jawing) Let’s get out here and spar.”

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