You might have heard that over in Britain, that land of Shakespeare, the Beatles and nude boobs in the newspapers, they are currently dealing with a Hung Parliament. Over here, in America, the only thing we know about Parliament is that it was a great funk band and that hipsters like to smoke their cigarettes. But believe it or not, a Hung Parliament has nothing to do with George Clinton’s genitalia. And since we here at Heavy believe that education is important, especially because the robot wars are coming, we’re going to teach you just what a Hung Parliament really means.
First off, it’s important to understand that in a Parliamentary system, several parties go at it in regional elections, and when each representative is elected, the bean counters take a look to see if any one party has a majority. If they do, then that party gets to elect the new Prime Minister. If they don’t, the result is a Hung Parliament. And then that’s where things get wild.
Because there is no majority, the various parties are forced to try to work together to form a coalition of two or more parties, which is called, naturally, a coalition government (formerly known as a “centaur government”.) Usually this happens when one larger party reaches out to a smaller, more radical party. This can be achieved by either promising them support on the issues that matter to them or by sending them suitcases filled with blow delivered by high priced hookers. Either way.
In this case, both the Conservative Party and the Labor Party in Britain are being forced to try to win the support of the Liberal Democrats. This would be like if the Republicans and Democrats both needed to win over the hippies in the Green Party in order to form a stable government. As you can imagine, this would be hilarious.
Just imagine some Strom Thurmond clone attempting to bond over tabouleh with someone name Peace Blossom or Harry Reid hitting the bong with a gang of vegans, or John McCain playing the bongos with Zach de la Rocha. That is what is going on in England right now.
Basically, Ralph Nader never wished he was English as much as he does today. You might think this sounds ridiculous, but you won’t be laughing when a man named Pig Pen is named Prime Minister. Actually, what am I talking about? That would be both hilarious and awesome, and it is all thanks to the wonders of the Hung Parliament.