Summer is in full motion and everyone within 8 hours of a major body of water will be cramming their sweaty butts into the car and heading to the beach. That includes the freaks, weirdos and those not fit to leave the house in anything less than a burlap sack. Amidst the beautiful beach bodies and scenic wildlife will be some unpleasant specimens. If you find yourself witnessing any of these beach atrocities, do you your eyes a favor and throw sand in them. The stinging sensation will be far less painful than these beach fails.
Hey kids, forget the boogie board, nothing is more fun at the beach than an open sewage pipe. Nevermind that burning skin sensation to follow a few hours later, just throw some aloe on it.
Let’s hope these men take a cue from the lemmings and throw themselves off a cliff into the sea.
Somehow this ancient mummy crawled out of its sarcophagus and is now on the beach. Run, Johnny! Run!
If you fail to pickup any beach babes, save yourself the embarrassment and refrain from adding the babes in with Photoshop.
A beach monkey attack could have easily been avoided if she’d stayed in America. #suckitThailand
Just a giant cannon blasting black sh*t into the water, surely no reason to let it spoil a good beach day, right?
One of these people should not be wearing a two-piece. Can you guess which one?
Either go to the beach like a normal human or commit to robbing a bank. You can’t do both.
Yes, you have nice boobs, but that doesn’t mean people won’t laugh at you for wearing a bathing suit that looks more like a Battlestar Galactica costume.
The burkini is the perfect way to shield yourself from the warm summer sun AND convince sharks your a tasty seal. Win-win!
If you see a camper that’s slowly sinking into the surf, take a photo and warn the lifeguard that an idiot will probably be drowning very soon.
It’s advised that Irish sunbathers use SPF 2000 to avoid spontaneous combustion.
You will see a minimum of no less than two families at the beach who have zero idea how to swim.
Black metal surfers? Welcome the sandy beaches of the 7th circle of Hell.
Something tells me he’s lost and needs a juice box asap.
“Does Not Meet Standards for Human Contact” when has this ever stopped people from enjoying the water?
Consider this image your cue to hangout at the pool today instead.
“Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!”
Nothing makes a better life vest than garbage.
Third world beaches are always the most beautiful. Just ignore the crippling poverty and enjoy your vacation!