It really doesn’t matter what you think of all these horror remakes, ’cause they’re here to stay, and there will be more – many, many more. Here’s the latest “reimagined” scarefest from the Hollywood nightmare machine.
Those of you who haven’t seen Cathy’s Curse (1977) live in a different world than those of us who have – a world of peace and tranquility, where sanity and common sense pervade every aspect of existence, where the laws of cause and effect and physics in general reign supreme. Cathy’s Curse is not a film. It is the work of a raving lunatic, or a malevolent alien race looking to drive us to insanity. Sure, it has something resembling a plot, or at least a “premise” – a young girl becomes possessed by her dead aunt (for no particular reason) and proceeds to make vases explode with her mind, disappear and reappear at will, drive the poor old groundskeeper to drink, call her mother a “fat dried up old whore” and kill people with her doll (again, for no particular reason). But the rest of the film resembles nothing on this earth. Beware this film, the way you would beware the Silver Shamrock masks in Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Beware this film, the way you would beware accidentally falling into a giant pot of boiling tar.
And now – God help us all – someone is going to remake the damned thing. Yes. Hollywood has gotten that desperate for ideas, they will take a non-film, an anti-film like Cathy’s Curse and reshape its all-encompassing black-hole evil for today’s unsuspecting audiences. Who in the hell is going to direct this thing? Satan? Maybe some good can come of it. Maybe by remaking Cathy’s Curse, one valiant filmmaker can find a way to harness its evil and stamp it out for good. Yes, this project can be seen as something being done for the good of all mankind, for the good of the very fabric of the universe itself. Or it could completely backfire and we could all end up in the cold abyss of nothingness.
Either way, Elle Fanning is going to play Cathy. Elle Fanning – our savior, or our complete and total undoing? Pray for that child – and us.
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