Kate Upton’s “fat floppy boobs” are a woman’s two best friends.
The jugg-jiggling bombshell will go down in history as a game-changer who did more for feminism than Gloria Steinem.
Whahaa? How does spilling one’s hooters all over the internet to the drooling delight of the male masses further the cause of American women everywhere and forever? The irony is not lost on us, but hang in there.
Recently a blog post by an anorexia-advocating has-been model described the world’s most-Googled sex symbol as a “squishy brick.” The proudly starving psychopath trashes Upton’s “fat floppy boobs” and “huge thighs” with the bared-claw bloodthirst of a junior-high ringleader sending a mass text in the lunchroom. She even labels the new it-girl a “cannibal” — for consuming cow flesh in that Carl’s Jr. ad (above).
This scorned skeleton’s vitriol — caustic bile summoned from her empty stomach — could be dismissed as the ranting of one hangry ho were it not the least-veiled example of an industry-wide ostracizing. Typical of catty venom, the attack is rooted in insecurity. Insecurity that a model who proves men prefer meat on the bones over teenage-boy clones will threaten a multi-billion-dollar industry built on starvation and self-hatred.
In the mold of the classic pinup girls, Upton’s curvaceous body is a ’bout-time backlash to the wasting-away waifs of the catwalk, and men have responded with all the populist power the internet can muster. But does the collective whim of heterosexual men mean a lick in the fashion industry? Of course not. Not directly. However, if the female masses down whose throats the industry is forcing the anorexic ideal become aware that sex appeal and body fat are not mutually exclusive, they may notice the uber-chic emperor’s lack of clothing.
So, hot “fat” girl turns on men. Women see men turned on. Women reject anorexia as a fashion choice. Women liberated. Kate Upton goes down in history as feminist icon. Bada bing, bada boom!
Did Upton know that eating food and getting naked would make her an American feminist hero? We’d love to give her that much credit. But unwitting or not, she is a game-changer.
And every time you ogle her floppy boobs and “huge” thighs, you’re participating in the historic liberation of the American woman. Win-win!