Looking for something to wear with your Winkers and your Weezer snuggie? May I introduce Mouthman Shirts, the amazingly idiotic fashion brainstorm of Journey bass player Ross Valory. And yes, that website does play “Don’t Stop Believin'” on an endless loop, thank you very much. What’s the gimmick? Basiclly, they’re shirts you can wear a certain way so that when you hold your arms in a specific position, it looks like a SNAKE! Or if you hold your arms just slightly off of that position, it looks like a MENTALLY RETARDED SNAKE! Bad-ass! Valory calls it “animated apparel,” which is a pretty sweet word for clothes with stuff airbrushed on them. Throw in some Ed Hardy Uggs and you’d have the worst outfit ever.