Oh, celebrities: they suck, yet we can’t stop thinking about them. But who is truly the world’s most worthless celebrity? Here at Heavy, we use science to answer these questions. Using a complex series of algorithms that monitor blog mentions, videos, and other Internet and media traffic, we have distilled the world’s celebrities into an orderly list of 100 attention-seeking douchebags. Every day, we’ll debut another entry on the list, counting down to the ultimate celebrity trainwreck.
You can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats a woman. We’re not arguing that the fairer sex needs to be coddled, but today’s trainwreck runs through the ladies like they were toilet paper. This Hollywood star who changed his name to something considerably less ethnic when he started acting, but his fiery Latino temper has flared up time and time again. In 1990, he shot his then-fiancee Kelly Preston in the arm – supposedly by accident – driving her into the open arms of Scientology. He then decided to aim a little lower, hooking up with porno starlets Ginger Lynn and Heather Hunter. His marriage to a former teen star with an enormous rack produced two kids and a pile of tabloid headlines during their hilarious, acrimonious divorce, and most recently he spent Christmas in jail for attacking his third wife with a deadly weapon. Who’s the misogynist trainwreck? Find out after the jump.
Yessiree, it’s Charlie Sheen. Born Carlos Estevez in New York City, Charlie anglicized his name to match his father’s and quickly became an in-demand young actor with his work in films like Platoon, Red Dawn and others. But with success comes drugs, and Sheen started abusing with the best of them. Multiple marriages and messy relationships followed, but it was the union with Denise Richards that really made Sheen a star, with Richards alleging that her husband was unstable, violent, and addicted to hookers and blow – a claim Sheen denies, then follows up with a text message to Richards saying “I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer.” Sheen’s currently rotting in jail, hoping to get back to his sitcom gig on Two And A Half Men. For a bonus laugh, check out Sheen’s last big-screen role, the unreleased 2005 animated flick Foodfight! Do you know how bad a movie has to be to not get released at all? Dude, Jessica Simpson movies at least come out on DVD! Here’s some fun voicemails from Sheen to Richards, too.