Justin Bieber’s 37-year-old MILF Mom Hasn’t Had Sex in 15 Years

justin bieber mom pattie mallette

The world does not need another Justin Bieber.

So thank God his mom’s been doing her best to prevent a sequel by avoiding sex for the last 15 years.

Pattie Mallette, who’s only 37, went on Ellen today to reassure the world that she is celibate and will not be lending her DNA or womb toward the creation of another demon of pop-music mediocrity.

She made a vow at age 21 that she wouldn’t bang any guys until she got married. It’s 2012 and she’s still waiting for Mr. Right.

But when you go on national TV talking about your sex-starved life, that’s sending some serious signals. Mama Bieber’s ready for a nice, fat … well, let’s just say she’s finally gotten over the trauma of doing Justin’s dad, Jeremy Jack Bieber:

justin bieber dad jeremy jack bieber