Happy Mother’s Day! Are you celebrating yet? You may be scrambling for some last-minute ideas when it comes to what to write in your Mother’s Day cards. Check out these funny and cute quotes to round out your message to your mom, step-mother, grandma, or wife.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
– Jack Nicholson
Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.
– Jay Leno
Happy Mother’s Day to the one person who believes I could do anything despite all evidence to the contrary.
Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.
– Author Unknown
My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
– Bob Monkhouse
My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
– Buddy Hackett
Mothers are all slightly insane.
– J.D. Salinger
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
– Tim Allen
There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
– Chinese Proverb
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
– Wendy Liebman
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
– Oscar Wilde
Happy Mother’s Day to the iPad that is raising your children.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
– Calvin Trillin
My mother never breast fed me; she told me she only liked me as a friend.
– Rodney Dangerfield
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