It’s Thursday, and that means it’s time for a mighty link dump, straining against the fragile material of our underpants to shower you with the hottest linkage anywhere. In retrospect, that last sentence sounded pretty gross, like it was about pooping. Let’s wash this off and get to the fun part.
Jaguars Mascot Stuck On Zipline – Ultimate mascot fail. He didn’t even get to take a piss from up there.
The 10 Biggest Assholes Of The Decade – What, only ten? I’m sure there’s more than that.
Your Christmas Tree’s Twitter Page – RT @BabyJesus frankincense is gay
Jersey Protesters Fight Stereotypes – In other news, hair gel is the #1 Christmas gift in the Garden State.
How To Fight Bullies – I recommend the ever popular “make them slip in a puddle of tears.”
The Strangest Sex News Of 2009 – Obviously they didn’t get a report from the branch office in my pants.
10 Things To Love About Rahm Emanuel – Obama’s most kick-ass staffer rules the world.
The 10 Greatest Upskirt Moments In TV History – Get your pause button ready.
Methods Of A Union Square Peeper – In case you want to do the last thing IRL.
5 Reasons TV Is Better Than Movies – I counter with it’s less exciting to get a handjob watching TV.
Chicago Advice Columnist: Hire A Prostitute – Bizarrely, the guy was asking a question about mutual funds.
Win Insane Holiday Swag – Bacon ties! Drill blenders! A giant hot dog!
The Ultimate Christmas Mash-Up – This is amazing. Happy holidays!