Comedy

The 20 Worst Guidos

The 20 Worst GuidosJersey Shore has come and gone, but the legacy of the guido lives forever. These hair-gelled warriors of the dance floor are the nadir of the American male – all spray tans, Ed Hardy shirts and attitude. We’ve gone into the wild to bring back pictures of the 20 worst guidos we could find. These orange goblins give Italy a bad name. Like worse than Mussolini did.

Chinstrap Guido

Nice chinstrap, bro. That’s really – uh – masculine. Also the spray tanner and freckles combination here makes me doubt your Italian ancestry.

Guido Kissing

The exaggerated kiss face is a Guido trademark. This guy looks like he pumped a pint of collagen in those mashers before he took this Olan Mills shot.

Eyeliner Guido

Spray tanner is one thing, but this meathead is taking it a step further and jacking his girl’s eyeliner, too. It’s a short haul from here to giving himself a Brazilian ass-wax, tucking it back and going Guidette full-time.

Archie Guido

Man, Archie has really let himself go. It used to be his hair was red.

Prom Guidos

Can you imagine your daughter coming home with one of these troglodytes as a Prom date? That’s barely a step above a Juggalo. You spend a thousand bucks for a dress and she gets bronzer all over the shoulder. That crap never washes out.

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