Jersey Shore has come and gone, but the legacy of the guido lives forever. These hair-gelled warriors of the dance floor are the nadir of the American male – all spray tans, Ed Hardy shirts and attitude. We’ve gone into the wild to bring back pictures of the 20 worst guidos we could find. These orange goblins give Italy a bad name. Like worse than Mussolini did.
Nice chinstrap, bro. That’s really – uh – masculine. Also the spray tanner and freckles combination here makes me doubt your Italian ancestry.
The exaggerated kiss face is a Guido trademark. This guy looks like he pumped a pint of collagen in those mashers before he took this Olan Mills shot.
Spray tanner is one thing, but this meathead is taking it a step further and jacking his girl’s eyeliner, too. It’s a short haul from here to giving himself a Brazilian ass-wax, tucking it back and going Guidette full-time.
Man, Archie has really let himself go. It used to be his hair was red.
Can you imagine your daughter coming home with one of these troglodytes as a Prom date? That’s barely a step above a Juggalo. You spend a thousand bucks for a dress and she gets bronzer all over the shoulder. That crap never washes out.