It’s Tea Party Day

Conservatives all over the nation are assembling to protest Barack Obama’s tax policies, health care reform, and general blackness. These disenfranchised Red Staters are mad as hell and they’re not gonna take it anymore. Wearing absurd costumes, holding gibberish signs, and venerating Glenn Beck like he was Jesus 2.0, they’re reinforcing America’s stereotype to the rest of the world: we really are fat people who yell. Let’s take a look at some of these teabaggers, shall we?

Taxpayers Jews

Here we have a fine example of the kind of overinflated rhetoric that the Teabagger loves to use. Hey! Obama is a Nazi because… uh… I said so! You’ll notice he has at least one supplementary sign, perhaps to act as a footnote.

Wroking People

Here’s a little factoid for you: the states that receive more Federal tax money than they pay in? 76% of them are the traditional Red states, where the teabaggers live. So, actually, these mongs are the ones taking from the rest of us. But I don’t go protest in front of their house because it’s attached to the back of a truck.

No Amensty

In addition to being against… everything else, teabaggers are also dead-set against offering an amnesty period to illegal immigrants if they register with the U.S. government. Because they take our jobs away, or something. I’m sure this lady would really like to be out in the field picking lettuce, only she needs to hold this sign up here.

Child Abuse Teabagger

Okay, this guy can probably tell you all about child abuse. What is he hoping to accomplish with those graphs? Anybody close enough to read them off of his sign is probably close enough to be pissing their pants in primal fear.

Infromed Teabagger

Obviously they haven’t been staying up ’til 10 for “Learn To Spell With Sean Hannity.” I could go on all day about how Fox News feeds the flame of these idiot bonfires with ridiculous, skewed stories about Obama’s evil plan for white folks, but do I really need to? Look at that sign again.

Kenyan Teabagger

Just as a note here, buddy? Approximately 71% of Kenyans are Christians. Just – just so you know that they’re not dancing around in mud huts sacrificing chickens to thunderclouds or something. They can probably spell “forefathers,” too. No diss.

Change Teabagger

One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how the teabaggers have latched onto Obama’s promise of “change” as a diabolical evil. From Sarah Palin’s “How’s that hopey-changey working out for you” failed catchphrase to this astounding sign (homosexuals, abortion and Godlessness! That’s a bingo!), these mongs would probably be happier frozen in Carbonite and waiting for the Rapture.

Teabagger Niggar

So you look at this and you think “Oh, Jesus, his sign says Niggar.” But this guy’s probably just a lone nut, right? He doesn’t represent the Tea Party movement as a whole. How could he? Well, he could if he were Dale Robertson, who calls himself the “President and Founder Of The Tea Party” and owns the website. And he is!

Jesus Teabagger

‘Nuff said.

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