Comedy

The 20 Awesomest Japanese Vending Machines: Porno, Panties & Pringles

Japan is absolutely nuts over vending machines. The island nation has around 5.6 million coin and card-operated machines. That’s about one vending machine for every 23 people. That is also more vending machines in Japan than people living in New Zealand. So one would expect with the competition that 5.6 million vending machines breeds, everyone is trying to make their vending machine stand out. This densely populated landscape has led to Japan having some of the most innovation and downright weird vending machines in the world. Come along with Heavy-san as we take you on a guided tour of Japan’s 20 Awesomest Vending Machines.




Did you know Tommy Lee Jones jumped on the Japanese product endorsement gravy train? Well he did, and for BOSS canned coffee. Check out the above commercial where Jones plays an aggravated security officer who also happens to be an alien of sorts. The BOSS canned coffee vending machines also sport Tommy Lee’s mug in a strangely semi-aggressive profile pose.


Ever get the insatiable urge to eat 5 bananas? Me either, but apparently they do in Japan and the only cure is more vending machine. Check out the above video to see the bizarre contraption in action, and take note of the special banana peel garbage cans placed next to the machine.


Ever have a crappy day and wish you had a smiley-face balloon to cheer you up? In Japan, they’ve got a vending machine for that!


The lovely Alex Sim-Wise gets down and dirty with the soiled panty underworld that thrives in Japan. The above video has her entering a shop that sells various soiled panties, soiled by various girls. She then finds the “holy grail” of vending machines, a soiled panty dispenser. Only 30 bucks! Whattadeal!



[BoxTitle]Dildo Vending Machine[/BoxTitle]
Yes, Japan doesn’t neglect their females vending machine needs.

[BoxTitle]Porno Vending Machine[/BoxTitle]
This is genius! Porno magazine vending machine! Finally, you don’t have to look guilt-stricken into the eyes of a 7-11 cashier when you buy your smut.


[BoxTitle]Pokémon Vending Machine[/BoxTitle]
It wouldn’t be a Japanese 20 Awesomest list without some kind of gaming reference thrown in. Check out this all-Pokémon vending machine.

[BoxTitle]A Lettuce Vending Machine, Duh[/BoxTitle]
Duh, of course there is a lettuce vending machine where the lettuce grows artificially without any real sunlight. How else would you get your lettuce?

[BoxTitle]Beer Vending Machine[/BoxTitle]
Now we’re cooking with gas. Here is the single greatest use of vending machine technology ever in the world. A vending machine that vends beer. Pure, unadulterated genius. Also, how do they check your ID at these things? Eh, who cares, whoever made this should be granted a Nobel prize.

[BoxTitle]Classic Combo: Whiskey and M&Ms[/BoxTitle]
For around 6 bucks, you can be living real classy with the strangely awesome M&M plus Whiskey combo. Great idea, great effort.

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