When it comes to seasons of the year, fall reigns supreme. Summer is too hot, winter is too cold and spring is too happy. Fall is the perfect midway point between the seasons and for that reason, October is the Anne Hathaway of months.
Best part of Fall? The Pumpkins! That’s right, America, you better brace yourself because pumpkins are back and everyone is obsessed with pumpkin stuff.
Want to be a badass pumpkin user and impress all your friends just standing around with their pumpkin spice lattes? Here are 10 easy ways to show your dominance over that big orange groud!
1. You Can Scare the Hell Out of Kids!
2.You Can Destroy a Car with It!
3. You Can Make a Donut Out of it and Then put Bacon on It!
4. You Can Turn it Into a Keg!
5. You Can Carve It… With a Gun!
6. You Can Have Your Pumpkin Destroy All Other Pumpkins!
7. You Can Use it to Shield Your Genitals!
10. You Can Talk to… and Then Get Shot Down by This Girl!
Eitan Levine is a New York City based comic. Follow him on Twitter at @Eitanthegoalie .