News

Todd Bentley Wants to Kick the Cancer Out of Your Face

Todd Bentley is a preacher with a plan…to beat the bejesus out of your face, legs and whatever else is within foot-shot. All in the name of God and health, of course.

Based out of Lakeland, Florida’s Fresh Fire Ministries, the tattooed, former Hell’s Angel and drug addict is planning a tour of the UK this month, but, Members of Parliament want nothing to do with the guy. In fact, several members have called for a nationwide ban of the controversial and often violent preacher before he is able to touchdown in Britain.

The Canadian-born Bentley, first gained national attention back in 2008 during the Lakeland Revival, a two-month long celebration of really, really god-obsessed, seizing, tongue-twisting, Christ crazies. His new role as a preacher was a far cry from his past, when he was convicted at the age of 15 for sexually assaulting a 7-year old boy. Told you he was insane. Need more proof?

During one sermon, Bentley proclaimed that he asked God why he wasn’t able to move a poor crippled woman with the word of God. This was God’s response, according to Bentley:

“I want you to grab that lady’s crippled legs and bang them up and down on the platform like a baseball bat.”

So that’s what Bentley did. He beat the shit out of an old woman’s feeble and already broken legs. Because, sometimes you have to break a leg to make an omelet.

In 2009, a year after he broke onto the cancer-kicking scene, he kicked his wife to the curb for a younger church intern he was having an affair with. I know, I know. I love this guy too.

And then there’s his allegation that he’s healed 139 deaf/mutes and brought back 33 people from the dead. My question to that is, where the hell do you find 139 deaf/mutes? Put an ad in the paper? Plant someone on the street corner and pay them to hand-signal the handicappers in?

Perhaps my favorite Bentley story is this one though. He tells it better than I can.

Finally, I leave you with this little gem about Bentley beating the crap out of a guy with cancer, who was also recently injured in an auto wreck. BTW, If I had a preacher this awesome, I’d go to church everyday. I’d leave my 7-year old son at home, though.

Win one of three XBox One Console Packages from XBox

Join Heavy's daily email newsletter and Askmen's newsletter to enter to win one of Three(3) great XBox One Console Packages from XBox
Read the sweepstakes rules here.

Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 980 other followers