WATCH: Obama’s Broke and Everything Must Go!!!

That first debate didn’t go so well for Obama and he’s a little low on funds. If he’s got any chance in winning the election he needs to raise some cash, and quickly! Anybody interested in buying Osama bin Laden’s ear or some government weed? He’s got that shark’s breath and bubblegum kush that Biden loves so much.

At the very least, you might want to purchase one of the government’s many surveillance tapes, capturing your most intimate moments. With prices so low you’d have to be INSANE to pass up a deal this good.

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