Oh, celebrities: they suck, yet we can’t stop thinking about them. But who is truly the world’s most worthless celebrity? Here at Heavy, we use science to answer these questions. Using a complex series of algorithms that monitor blog mentions, videos, and other Internet and media traffic, we have distilled the world’s celebrities into an orderly list of 100 attention-seeking douchebags. Every day, we’ll debut another entry on the list, counting down to the ultimate celebrity trainwreck.
Rock and roll will never die, despite the efforts of people to kill it. Today’s trainwreck went from the top of the game to nearly a decade of inactivity due to nothing more than his own intense mental problems. But I’m getting ahead of myself. The 1990s were a time of great change in American music, as hard rock shed the long hair Los Angeles attitude for something a little more down to earth. But that didn’t sit well with today’s trainwreck, who sang for one of the biggest metal bands of all time. By the mid ’90s, he’d fired or alienated all of the members of his band and spent his days holed up in his Malibu mansion making his supermodel wife pee in the catbox. It took thirteen years for the album to be completed, during which the red-haired singer made sporadic personal appearances and blew through dozens of potential bandmates. With the album essentially flopping, he’s now discovered the trainwreck’s method of choice for communicating with the outside world – Twitter. Can you guess the hard rock halfwit? Under the jump.
Absolutely – it’s W. Axl Rose. No matter where you stand on Chinese Democracy, it’s undeniable that Guns ‘N Roses were one of the most important and most creative heavy metal bands of their era, and some of their early tracks are astounding, fierce bursts of rage and emotion that fuse the spirit of the best punk with the hooks of the best metal. So that’s why it was so sad when, with grunge on the rise, Axl essentially lost his mind and got rid of everything that made the band successful. Bringing in a rotating crew of support staff, the process of recording Chinese Democracy made Axl a laughingstock, with reports from the studio seeing Axl following whatever the chart trend of the day was, from techno to rap-metal. When the album finally came out, it sold way less than anybody expected (and how could the band recoup the $13 million that Interscope put into it), leaving Axl in a strange position – a rock dinosaur one step away from the tar pit. Here’s a great video compilation of Axl losing his cool. Some NSFW audio.