Every week, I scour Netflix for a movie rated at one star and put it in my queue, suffering through it for your entertainment so that you don’t have to. In the past, I’ve taken on anime cancer demons, softcore Iraq War porn and racist ventriloquism, and this week, it’s Bai Ling’s worst movie, but only because she got cut out of Revenge of the Sith.
Gene Generation (2007)
Starring: The terrifying practice of gene hacking (not to be confused with Gene Hackman, who can also be terrifying).
One of the neat things about Netflix is that over time, it uses the movies that you watch to build a profile, then uses that information to make suggestions about movies you might like. It’s sort of like having a really perceptive clerk at your local video store, only with the added benefit that it might one day gain sentience and start sending Terminators back in time to kill your parents before you’re born. (Note to younger readers: A “video store” was a terrible place you used to have to go every Friday as soon as you got off work, or else you’d be stuck watching Con Air again all weekend.)
My recommendations are, of course, always screwed up owing to the fact that I watch the worst thing I can find every week, but every now and then, it gets a pretty good handle on my tastes:
That’s how I ended up watching The Gene Generation, which stars Bai Ling as Michelle, a professional killer who, despite having the amazing ability to accurately shoot guns with barrels that are larger around than her arms, is pretty terrible at her job.
The movie is set in an extremely generic dystopian future where Science! has resulted in “gene hacking,” wherein human DNA is rewritten through a device that looks suspiciously like someone’s idea of a steampunk NES Power Glove. This, of course, can also be used as a weapon, but despite the fact that Bai Ling’s entire job revolves around killing people who do that very thing, there seems to only be one floating around the entire city, which is conveniently located in the apartment next door to where she lives.