For NBA fans looking for a personalized birthday greeting – or recognition of whatever it is they get up to in their lives – the site/app known as Cameo offers a way to get in touch with some familiar NBA names. If ever you have wanted an NBA player to wish your mother a happy birthday, have a former All-Star congratulate you on your promotion, or get a retired seven-footer to call you least favorite co-worker a series of names, then it is all possible. For the right price.
Cameo, as is well established by now, is a video greeting platform thing that allows celebrities (or those erroneously reached out to during a period of excessive growth by the company, this author included; don’t ask) to charge fans for short, personalized video messages. The prices are set by the individuals themselves. And as such, the price range charged by different players is wide.
A number of current and former NBA players have joined the service, and the amounts they charge vary considerably. Some offer relatively inexpensive greetings, while others command hundreds or even thousands of dollars for a brief appearance on camera. And the biggest names in basketball are not necessarily the ones asking for the most money.
So, among the NBA players past and present available under the “Basketball” sub-category, who charges the most for a personalized video message? There follows a completely unnecessary examination.
Live Your NBA Dreams Vicariously
At the top of the shop, Metta Sandiford-Artest – still billed on the website as Metta World Peace, his former name – is the most expensive, charging a whopping $10,000 per video. Listed as “NBA Champion – LA Lakers“, the former Lakers wing has three reviews, confirming at least three sales, all of which were for the maximum five stars. Considering Sandiford-Artest’s account also lists his average video length as being all of 19 seconds, purchasers of his package will be paying more than $500 a second. At that price, you would expect something of at least mixtape length.
To put that into some context, the only other account that seems to come close, across the entirety of the Cameo line-up (and excluding all the jokers who put massive numbers despite not actually being famous in any meaningful way) is Snoop Dogg. And even he charges only $5,000. Or half an Artest, as it is known.
At the other end of the spectrum, the honor of being the cheapest NBA player past or present available on the platform is a shared one. Cal Bowdler (former Atlanta Hawks forward), Henri Drell (recipient of 30 minutes with the Chicago Bulls three years ago, which is more than enough to suffice here) and the once-dominant force of basketball nature that is Jim McIlvaine each only charge $10 for their time, with McIlvaine’s videos lasting an average of 85 seconds, putting Sandiford-Artest to shame. [No duration data exists for either Drell or Bowdler, suggesting sales have been, let’s say, limited.]
Unnecessary Long List
The full list at the time of writing, including a couple of associated NBA figures for the fun of it, is as follows.
Metta Sandiford-Artest: $10,000
Danny Ainge, Carlos Boozer, Jay Williams, Michael Beasley, Richard Hamilton, Alonzo Mourning’s son and one-time summer leaguer Trey Mourning, Nick Young and Tony Allen: $1,000
Daryl Morey: $999
Ben Gordon: $700
Gary Payton: $625
JaVale McGee: $600
Mo Bamba: $599
Steve Blake and Dennis Rodman: $500
Tiago Splitter: $499
Seth Curry: $405
Elijah Bryant: $400
Walt Clyde Frazier, Byron Scott, and that Professor guy from the And-1 Tour back in the day: $350
Georges Niang: $325
Pau Gasol, John Starks, Skip Bayless, Jaime Jaquez, Mitch Richmond and Rudy Gay: $300
Boban Marjanovic: $299
Jason Terry: $285
Lamar Odom: $277
Andre Drummond, Kelenna Azubuike, Dee Brown (the older one), Mark Madsen, the Golden State Warriors‘ hype man Franco Finn, Derek Anderson, Danny Green, Marvin Bagley III and Will Bynum: $250
Mason Plumlee, Vernon Maxwell, Miles McBride, Glen “Big Baby” Davis, Karl Malone, Jim Jackson, Tracy Murray, Mario Chalmers and George Gervin: $200
James Worthy and Michael Cooper: $199
Muggsy Bogues: $185
Pat Connaughton: $175 and an extremely popular seller
Jamaal Wilkes: $152
Garrett Temple: $151
Mark Jackson, Goran Dragic, Patrick Ewing Jr, Rod Strickland, the NBA writer Marc Spears, John Lucas, Tyler Ulis, Josh Okogie and Josh Smith: $150
Rick Barry, Paul Millsap and Austin Carr: $149
Johnny Juzang: $139
Ralph Sampson: $135
LaVar Ball: $133 and blowing the others out of the water in review count
Mike Woodson: $130
Luka Garza, Bobby Jones (the older one) and Isaac Okoro: $125
Steve Smith: $121
Tony Delk and Baylor Scheierman: $120
Isaiah Roby: $115
Wally Szczerbiak and Justin Wright-Foreman: $110
Isaiah Thomas, Ron Harper and Darren Collison: $105
Kemba Walker, Fred Hoiberg, Detlef Schrempf, Mateen Cleaves, Quinn Cook, Sean Elliott, Rik Smits, Festus Ezeli, Chris Mullin, Marcus Camby, Brian Shaw, Kenny Anderson, Antoine Walker, Thurl Bailey, the Oklahoma City Thunder’s mascot, Jose Calderon, Wendell Moore, Chris Smith (the 90s Timberwolves player), Charlie Villanueva, Ron Harper Jr, Phil Chenier, Gheorghe Muresan, NBA pundit Chris Haynes, Jalen Lecque, Donte Greene, Rawlke Alkins, Josh Minott, Buddy Boeheim, Jordan Nwora, Taurean Prince, Scotty Hopson, Haywood Highsmith, Dewayne Dedmon, Smush Parker, Salah Mejri, Malik Newman, Thomas Robinson, Admiral Schofield, Lindy Waters and Rashad McCants: $100
Zaza Pachulia, Adonal Foyle and Bryon Russell: $99
Tim Hardaway Sr and Ricky Pierce: 90
Michelle Beadle: $89
Koby Brea: $85
C.J. Watson and David Roddy: $80
Cormac Ryan: $79
Artis Gilmore, Eddie A. Johnson, Gerald Henderson Sr, Sidney Moncrief, Matt Ryan, the Celtics PA announcer Eddie Palladino, Doug Collins, Chris Youngblood, Kenny Thomas, Brandon Paul, Kevin Ollie, Isaiah Briscoe, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope and Norris Cole: $75
Robert Parish, Eric Musselman and James Posey: $70
Tony Fiorentino and Will Perdue: $65
Nolan Smith, Hunter Dickinson, Ersan Ilyasova, Tyus Edney, Cole Swider and Yves Pons: $60
76ers announcer Marc Zumoff: $59
Guerschon Yabusele and Tremont Waters: $55
Enes Freedom, Tyler Hansbrough, Jimmer Fredette, Greg Oden, Andrei Kirilenko, Phil Ford, Rudy Tomjanovich [short-term special offer!], Jim Petersen, Bill Wennington, John Salley [also 50% off if you buy now!], Oscar Tshiebwe, Boo Buie, Briante Weber, Ryan Arcidiacono, Semi Ojeleye, Svi Mykhailiuk, Yogi Ferrell, Alexis Ajinca, Gene Banks, Paul Mokeski, Scott Burrell, Vincent Askew, Patric Young, Jaron Blossomgame, Chuck Cooperstein, Levi Randolph, Nick Johnson, D.J. Steward, Tamar Bates, skills coach Drew Hanlen, Trevor Keels, Joel Ayayi, Antonio Davis, Jason Caffey, Duane Washington Jr, Rodions Kurucs, Doug Lee, Zhaire Smith (known just as “Zhaire”), DerMarr Johnson, Olivier Sarr, K.J. McDaniels, Kevin McCullar, Deyonta Davis, Bobby Simmons, Tyrone Nesby, Zavier Simpson and Landry Fields: $50
Xavier McDaniel and Jules Bernard: $49
Jordan McLaughlin and Jaylen Hands: $47
Daniel Gafford, Chuck Swirsky, Corey Brewer, Jimmy King, Marreese Speights, Terry Porter, Eddy Curry, Alex Acker, Billy Thompson and Armoni Brooks: $45
Matt Bonner and Rick Mahorn: $44
Larry Sanders, Chris Broussard, disgraced former NBA referee Tim Donaghy, Dan Dickau, Carlik Jones, Jamario Moon, Chaundee Brown, Olden Polynice, E.J. Liddell, Chris Silva, Josh Powell, Juwan Morgan, Taze Moore, James Ennis, Jalen Bridges and Tyrell Terry: $40
Lance Allred, Peyton Siva, Jarvis Hayes and Brice Johnson: $35
Jerel McNeal: $32
Justin Holiday, Shelden Williams, Ryan Broekhoff, Kris Joseph, Dennis Hopson, Darwin Cook, Sean McDermott, Yuri Collins, MaCio Teague, Juatin Robinson (the Virginia Tech one), Javin Delaurier, Brevin Knight, Renaldo Balkman, Jordan Sibert, Branden Dawson and Josh Boone: $30
Jared Butler: $29
Malik Beasley: $28
Carson Cooper, Bob Rathbun, Anthony Tolliver, Craig Smith, Pete Chilchutt, Acie Earl, Feron Hunt, Derrick Byars, Xavier Munford, Jacob Gilyard, Marcus Zegarowski, Daniel Ochefu, Cedric Ceballos, Derrick Gervin, Jaylen Morris, Joe Wieskamp, Izaiah Brockington, Lucas Williamson and Eddie Gill: $25
Glenn Robinson III: $22
Raptors announcer Jack Armstrong, Ryan Hollins, Kendall Gill, Dusty Hannahs, Alek Kirk, Qyntel Woods, Quincy Lewis, D.J. Steward (again), Stephen Howard, Justin Dentmon, Sharife Cooper and Darius Johnson-Odom: $20
Dylan Cardwell: $18, and could probably put his price up now
Brian Butch, Steve Mix, John Holland, Corsley Edwards, Erik Stevenson, Steven Zimmerman, Malachi Smith, Pat McCaw, Chris Owens, Keith Herron, Marvin Roberts and Mickell Gladness: $15
Jim McIlvaine, Henri Drell, Cal Bowdler, and early-days-of-NBA-Twitter figure Rod Benson: $10
Which NBA Player Charges the Most on Cameo?