Irish Penis Study Shows North Koreans Have Smallest Skin Flutes

Well, we finally know why North Korea’s leaders truly hate the western world, and it has everything to do with the barely manly hardware they have tucked inside their military slacks.

While the entire communist, pauperized nation is starving, deceased despot Kim Jong-Il was throwing lavish, multimillion dollar extravaganzas with thousands of dancers, fireworks and the like, just for himself and his evil underlings, and now we know why — he just wanted to forget about that Lima-bean sized pee-pee pole he had hiding under that bloated belly of his.

The man-meat study, conducted by Richard Lynn, emeritus professor of psychology at Ulster University in Ireland, gathered its penis intelligence from the Internet, which calls into question the study’s authenticity due to the obvious fact that men with smaller wangs aren’t necessarily flaunting their second belly-buttons all over the web.

While the Koreans clocked in at a whopping 3.8 inches of erectness, the U.S. made it halfway up the list with a respectable 5.1 inches. The Republic of Congo came in first with a healthy 7.1-inch average, which makes them eligible for three-legged races without needing a partner.

Other penis sizes of note are the Colombians, with an average of 6.7 inches of man girth to boast about, which isn’t very fair considering they already have great coffee, amazingly hot women, and the world’s most sought after drug. As for the rest of the list, take a gander yourself:

Republic of Congo – 7.1
Ecuador – 7
Ghana – 6.8
Columbia – 6.7
Iceland – 6.5
Italy – 6.2
South Africa – 6
Sweden – 5.9
Greece – 5.8
Germany – 5.7
New Zealand – 5.5
UK – 5.5
Canada – 5.5
Spain – 5.5
France – 5.3
Australia – 5.2
Russia – 5.2
USA – 5.1
Ireland – 5
Romania – 5
China – 4.3
India – 4
China – 4
Thailand – 4
South Korea – 3.8
North Korea – 3.8

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